09 Oct Increasing Self-Esteem
A person’s perception of their own value is referred to as self-esteem or self-confidence. The degree to which you value and are confident in yourself is known as self-esteem. It has to do with how you view yourself. This covers a range of self-perceptions, such as those related to your appearance, values, emotions, and behaviours.
Low self-esteem or low confidence can have a terrible impact on a person’s wellbeing. Some mental health issues may have a self-esteem component at their core, which can create a vicious cycle. It might be challenging to break the cycle in which you feel horrible about yourself, which makes you depressed, which makes you feel even worse about yourself, which makes you even more unhappy.
Causes of low self-esteem
Comparisons with Others are rather common and start between the ages of six and eleven, when kids start actively comparing themselves to their peers. Both cognitive and social factors contribute to this recent social comparison. Self-comparison, according to psychologist Erik Erikson, is the biggest challenge young people this age confront. He thought that their main issue is about how to cultivate a sense of industry, or a sense of competence, while avoiding a sense of inferiority.
Traumatic Childhood experiences
Low self-worth and low self-esteem are frequently the result of traumatic childhood events like abuse or neglect. If you received frequent criticism from your parents as a youngster, you probably developed very poor self-esteem, didn’t believe in yourself, and constantly questioned whether you deserved what you had. Scars can also be left behind by harsh criticism, rejection, mockery, or teasing. Unrealistic expectations of perfection can occasionally be traumatizing: Individuals with poor self-esteem frequently heard from parents, instructors, or peers that setbacks (such as failing an exam) represented the failure of their entire selves.
Feeling Incompetent
Some kids start to feel inadequate when they find their efforts fall short of those of their peers. But it’s important to note that not all instances of feeling inept result in low self-esteem. A child’s self-esteem is unlikely to be impacted if he performs poorly in an area he values less, like the arts. However, if he lacks skill in a domain he values highly, such as athletics, he runs the risk of becoming self-conscious.
Poor attachment
According to attachment theory, you need a caretaker in your early years who you can rely on to always be there for you and accept you if you want to grow up to be an adult who can have good, trustworthy relationships. Lower self-esteem is predicted by dysfunctional attitudes, which are linked to insecure bonding with parents.
How to Increase Your Self-esteem?
Challenge your negative beliefs
Understanding your fundamentally negative attitudes and their origins is crucial if you want to raise your sense of self-worth. It’s important to recognize negative thoughts about oneself as they emerge because they are the root cause of low self-esteem. Request a written account objectionable beliefs. You might write, “I don’t think I’m good at my job,” for instance. After that, decide to refute the belief by making a list of flattering remarks about themselves. A motivating notion can be, “I outperformed everyone else for this position in the interview stages.”
Learn to be assertive
Although it won’t make you hostile or unpleasant, being assertive will help you establish clear boundaries. It indicates that you respect others and yourself and are able to interact with them respectfully. Assertiveness can be practiced in a variety of ways. For instance, a lot may be inferred about our internal feelings from our body language. When we are anxious, we unconsciously try to shrink ourselves by hunching our shoulders or crossing our arms or legs. Try to straighten up if you want to feel more certain and assertive.
Work with a counsellor
You can modify how you see yourself and other people by getting counselling to help you understand your feelings. From many people have struggled with low self-esteem difficulties since childhood, counselling is frequently required to treat this illness since most people aren’t always able to do so. In order to address low self-esteem, two therapeutic modalities, psychodynamic and cognitive behavioural therapy / CBT, have been demonstrated to be particularly successful.